Transgender Life

I don’t want this site to be solely about being transgender. From my experiences so far, it’s not even something I could write about every week – being in the closet is far more intense and frustrating and writeable. However, there are moments when things happen, unique to trans people. I’d like to share those moments with you, and let you into the mystery.

Christmas Party

BeFunky-Collage-Gina-Valentina-Anahit-Angel

Christmas Party 16.12.17

Isn't mulled wine the best? I am still glowing with the aftertaste, from last night's Christmas party. I wore my new, shiny black pleated skirt – which you can see in the top photo if you really peer and use your imagination. Well done Gina. Must model New Favourite Skirt with better strategy next time.

Anyway, some introductions: in the photos you can see Valentina in the green, taking our selfies. She's as tall as me (6ft), an Amazon; she's from Santiago in Chile and she combines Marxism with classical guitar play though her favourite band is post-punk The Pixies. From pixies to elves and magic rings: you can also see Anahit in the red dress, she's a flurry of energy: I think she's already organized a ton of academic conferences this past year. Her specialty is The Lord of the Rings (hence my pixies to elves comment, geddit?) and more generally fantasy, sci-fi, and superheroes. We spent the beginning of this Christmas party catching up on the latest Star Wars movie and agreed to disagree on the sexiness of Oscar Isaac, who isn't sexy as Mark Hamill (fact).

So, the party. I met some people I'd never spoken with before, or had barely spoken to, or not spoken to recently. I really enjoyed being there. So much alcohol. Afterwards, I went upstairs to change into jeans and sweater and cowboyish boots – the weather was freezing outside. I promised Anahit I wouldn't just disappear, and that I would join them at a pub called The Pear Tree. But when I got there, it was full and there was nobody from the party. So I left and went home. On the way, I treated myself in a way I never do these days, by getting a doner kebab and chips.

It doesn't sound like an amazing night out, written down like this, but isn't that the thing? These moments of niceness and warm feelings, with the added fragrance of mulled wine, and later, my favourite takeaway meal. Hard to express these feelings, of how I realize I've missed this Christmas light.

I've included a picture of an angel because I can't put into words how I feel about last night. A party where angels watched over us, that's how it felt.
Final Message of 2017
On Orange Is The New Black
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Guest
Monday, 16 July 2018

Captcha Image

My Latest Posts

July 16, 2018

My Week in Netflix: Denial and The Stanford Prison Experiment

  My Week In Netflix: Denial and The Stanford Prison Experiment Denial (2016) is a film I was frustrated to miss at the cinema. Starring the ever-brilliant Rachel Weisz and Timothy Spall, it covers the real-life events of Holocaust-denier David Irving and his lawsuit against academic Deborah Lipstadt, who had accused Irving of wilful distortio...
July 15, 2018

The First Purge

  The First Purge A dystopian near-future with America under the control of white supremacists, The First Purge is the prequel to a crossover trilogy of horror and social commentary of disturbing prescience. Given political developments in the US since 2016 in particular, I'd place this film up there with Get Out! (2017) as the kind of twisted...
July 13, 2018

Learning to Smile

  Learning to Smile When I smiled, it was always awkward. My tightly closed lips – if you look at the other pictures of me in my Transgender Diary, you'll notice that you never see my teeth. In no photo of me going back to early childhood will you ever see my teeth. But then, in the final years before I came out as trans, you'll stru...
July 08, 2018

She Called Me Woman: Nigeria's Queer Women Speak

in Books

  She Called Me Woman: Nigeria's Queer Women Speak Transgender narratives seldom emerge outside white, Western experience - at least if we're talking about mainstream publishing. African trans, I'm aware only of the occasional documentary, which is what makes this book so especially valuable. An edited collection of personal stories, gathered ...
July 08, 2018

Sicario 2: Soldado

  Sicario 2: Soldado Islamist terror meets drug cartels and Mexican immigration: thus, does Sicario 2 begin, in literally explosive fashion. What emerges after the opening set pieces, however, is strangely un-dramatic, despite the best attempts of Josh Brolin and Benicio Del Toro to re-create the amoral desert of the original Sicario (2015). W...
July 01, 2018

I Don't Feel At Home In This World Anymore

  I Don't Feel At Home In This World Anymore (Netflix) My flatmate's been out of town for a few days, which has encouraged me to use the sofa in our living room a bit more often. This has never been an issue between us, she likes to stretch out on the sofa while I take the kitchen table. But these past few evenings alone in the flat have ...
July 01, 2018

Miss Maria, Skirting the Mountain

Miss Maria, Skirting the Mountain (Edinburgh Film Fesitval) As a snapshot of what it is to be a transgender female in a rural, religious setting, without medical aid or sympathy, I'd recommend this documentary. Miss Maria, Skirting the Mountain (2017), follows forty-something Maria in the foothills and pastures of Andean Colombia. The scenery ...
June 24, 2018

My World Cup diary (I)

​ My World Cup diary (I) Saturday Night My flatmate and I hosted a Beatles-themed party a few weeks ago. I chose the simple route for my Beatles-themed outfit, using string to tie lots of paperback novels to my waist, signifying  Paperback Writer.  It wasn't very inspired, but I did also create some mash-up posters for my flatmate (see pi...
June 15, 2018

Anxiety Dreams and the Cisgender Label

Anxiety Dreams and the Cisgender Label I know it's bad form to talk about one's dreams but I'd like to start this post by talking about how I woke up in darkness last night, after an evolving, unpleasant, anxiety dream about being trans. In the first half of the dream, people saw me in a nice apartment, and wanted to take it for themselves because ...