Transgender Life

I don’t want this site to be solely about being transgender. From my experiences so far, it’s not even something I could write about every week – being in the closet is far more intense and frustrating and writeable. However, there are moments when things happen, unique to trans people. I’d like to share those moments with you, and let you into the mystery.

Final Message of 2017

Christmas-tree-forest

Final Message of 2017 22.12.17

I wrote this post yesterday, but it had a strange effect on me afterwards: I wrote about my excitement buying things for my family, about spending money on stuff. Christmas can have a strange effect on people, on me at least. Briefly I got swept up in the glittering waves, imagining how it's going to be, that Christmas by the hearth. But it feels strange to sign off on 2017 in such a smiling, hand-waving way. It's nice to believe in happy endings, but to project false joy and tidings is not what these posts are about. I used to love Christmas but these days the build-up isn't that anymore. So I'm going to strip this post down to the bare essentials, a few highlights, and then move on, which is how I feel about 2017.

Highlights in my private life? I moved into a nice apartment at the end of September with my friend and colleague Niki (whom I still don't have a picture of, so this link will have to do). Some new friendships blossomed, especially with Valentina. My pub quiz team, featuring the brilliant Tess, Calder and Angela, sometimes win (and when we lose, it's usually to groups of eight or nine people, whom we suspect might be cheating with their smart phones so it isn't fair, but we're too cool to be bitter).

Most wonderful, resonating film: Neruda, for reminding me of the beauty of invention, and how it doesn't matter if I'm just a figment in a poet's mind; I live, I exist, as something that feels truthful to me.

Favourite music: I got into Marillion this year, and their song Neverland is as good as music gets. Having said that, and if we're talking guilty pleasures, I re-connected with the talent of former Ozzy Osbourne guitarist Jake E Lee; his guitar solo here is the closest thing to orgasm that I can recall from a past such a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Speaking of which, my favourite movie soundtrack: I bought the soundtrack today to Star Wars: The Last Jedi as it's wonderful, a dramatic upgrade of my childhood anthem. But the anthem to 2017 is the closing song by Sara Bareilles to the movie Battle of the Sexes, special in a tender way. About women's rights, and fighting back against the disrespect. The word that is most profound, meanwhile, is Charlottesville, and my person of the year is Heather Heyer .

Merry Christmas everyone, and a Happy New Year.

Love,

Gina
2018 All Shiny and New
Christmas Party
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Guest
Monday, 15 October 2018

Captcha Image

What's On This Week

My Latest Posts

First Man
October 14, 2018

First Man

October 14, 2018

First Man

First Man In an age of flag-waving white power, this film could have been a Trumpian Triumph of the Will , a paean to American greatness. But in focusing on Neil Armstrong (played by Ryan Gosling), his associates and his family, First Man is a curious thing: a gaze at the tree, rather than the forest, in a way that feels substantial. From the ...
October 08, 2018

A Star Is Born

A Star Is Born Before the film review, my background focus on its star. I love the work of Lady Gaga, up to and including the fluorescent brilliance of her album Artpop (2013). It coincided with an important period in my life, a year of upheaval when I realized I wouldn't live to please the norms of others anymore. Gaga's album was a sci-fi or...
October 06, 2018

The Whiteness of LGBT+ Spaces

The Whiteness of LGBT+ Spaces I'm not writing this in a fit of white self-hate. I've noticed recently that as a transgender white person, I inhabit mainly all-white spaces. I unconsciously select the company of those I'll have things in common with – company that's identifiable to me, company that feels unconsciously familiar. I may not like this p...
September 30, 2018

Heart of the Race: Black Women's Lives in Britain

in Books

Heart of the Race: Black Women's Lives in Britain As someone whose childhood was in the 1980s, I remember the decade with rose-tinted glasses: as a child in Wales, you knew that Thatcher(ism) was evil, and you heard about mass unemployment and factory closures – including in my home town with the closure of the local steel plant and coal mines – bu...
September 23, 2018

Resisting Whiteness

Resisting Whiteness (Pleasance Theatre, Edinburgh) Organized by a collective of queer and trans people of colour in Edinburgh and Glasgow, yesterday's Resisting Whiteness combined both conference and safe-space for people of colour to discuss generally (but not only) LGBTQIA+ issues seldom if ever discussed in white-majority spaces. A sell-out thre...
BlacKkKlansman
September 16, 2018

BlacKkKlansman

September 16, 2018

BlacKkKlansman

  BlacKkKlansman In an age of the absence of subtlety, BlacKkKlansman is arguably the perfect movie to tackle the issue of racism in America. It presents a black-and-white world of good versus evil, of racism and its opposite, in a clear-cut binary relationship. The cops – with one clear exception – are reasonable, anti-racist people, while th...
The Other Slavery
September 09, 2018

The Other Slavery

in Books

September 09, 2018

The Other Slavery

in Books

The Other Slavery by Andres Resendez My first feelings about the Native or First Nation Americans come in waves of visualizations. The names different tribes gave to the months: Geese Flying Moon; Strawberry Moon. They conjure up colours and movements come alive upon infinite midnight plains. The cruelty of European settlers intervenes. My reading ...
Fragments
September 02, 2018

Fragments

September 02, 2018

Fragments

  Fragments Yesterday evening I completed my move across town from one apartment to another. The experience was, and continues to be, disorientating. I guess everyone needs a place to call home. I start from scratch, again. I woke up from an anxiety nightmare early this morning. Soon after, was lying on the floor doing stre...
August 31, 2018

Forbidden Androgynies

Forbidden Androgynies Growing up in the 1980s, I remember particular cartoons that seemed indispensable and which even today seem impressively cool in their inventiveness. In no particular order, these include the disturbingly Satanic Thundercats with female icon Cheetara , as well as the more gently uplifting Dungeons and Dragons – with the wonder...