What's on this week

What's On?

red_sparrow-III

What's On?

There's only one Oscar favourite I haven't watched so far, the based-on-true events I, Tonya. I remember the original attack on the skater Nancy Kerrigan, and how her rival Tonya Harding was later implicated in the attack (specifically, Harding was found guilty of conspiring to hinder the prosecution). I don't know what Nancy Kerrigan is feeling, seeing Hollywood's most likeable bad-ass girl, Margot Robbie (famously Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad), playing Tonya Harding for sympathies, on billboards and on TV and in magazines. I get that it could be a fascinating story - descent into crime always makes a better story than a tale about Ned Flanders of The Simpsons or some similar do-gooder. I also know of people who have watched this film and liked it. But personally, I'm guessing the film re-opened the trauma of the assault for Kerrigan, and now this added injustice of Harding playing victim – I wonder if a Tonya Harding book deal will be coming soon? Anyway, I really feel for Nancy Kerrigan, and I'm not interested in Tonya Harding.

So instead, I'll watch a popcorn movie. Red Sparrow, starring Jennifer Lawrence, is the perfect post-Oscars event, with its world of espionage and plot-over-character. In such a world, what could be better than a female Bourne (from what the trailers showed) kicking arse in a slightly fantastical way. This may seem like double standards, given what I've just said about Tonya Harding, but I don't have a problem with violence as long as it's far removed from my world, or anyone's in real life. I enjoy the ridiculousness of James Bond and loved the Bourne franchise, so am hoping for something similar.

Since I'm watching the film with friends, I may go afterwards to Edinburgh's gay quarter. I've always been underwhelmed by this part of Edinburgh, and perhaps there's a part of me that, as trans, doesn't want to go. This may sound paradoxical, but with the physicality of my trans identity, I wonder if some people go to the gay district with the hope of something exotic, of seeing men kissing, or a trans woman, or a drag queen. Decades ago, I had straight male flatmates who sometimes went to gay clubs, despite their homophobia. They would boast about how, if any guy tried it on with them, they would beat them up. I never went to the gay club with them, and never understood why they needed to go. Actually, it's strange why they only went to the gay clubs (in Cardiff, if you're asking) when I wasn't around. I was in the closet at the time, with a poster of Pamela Anderson on my bedroom wall to prove my masculinity. Maybe the flatmates were protecting me, like Van Helsing trying to protect Mina Murray from Dracula's kiss, lest she go to the dark side. Maybe my flatmates worried if I entered a gay club with them, I would leave in a gold dress and the conquest of several men on my hands; a werewolf finally confronted by moonlight.

What was strange was that I genuinely think they were straight. Why do homophobic guys go to gay pubs and clubs? Perhaps my then-flatmates felt gay men were inferior, and that trans was like a freak show. Perhaps it re-affirmed their own normality. Fast forward, and I know I'll be with friends this Saturday, but my journey into the gay district will be one in which I listen and watch intently for anyone approaching, especially for gangs of drunken men, and the echoes of my own life twenty years ago.

What's On?
What's On?
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Guest
Thursday, 03 December 2020

Captcha Image

What's On This Week

My Latest Posts

November 17, 2020

If I were to detransition, this is what I would write

Warning: this is a speculative piece of writing, not an official announcement, although I have recently begun to imagine an 'ideological' detransition (from trans woman to GNC male). Here, I'm trying to articulate and reflect on my thoughts and feelings, and imagining myself from a different perspective. In this post, I'm Gina v...
November 17, 2020

Trans Hell-thcare

The picture accompanying this post is important to me. I took it yesterday, 16 November 2020, unsure what I'd find. It's been nearly eleven months since I came off oestrogen for reasons I'll get into in a moment. Undoubtedly this has had an effect on me, bodily and therefore psychologically, but the accompanying selfie gives me a reassura...
October 17, 2020

What if gender-critical feminism came to power?

This scenario is inspired by a dialogue I had yesterday evening with a gender-critical feminist just before I went to bed. Here is what I dreamed: In the summer of 2021, the Conservative minister Liz Truss introduces legislation, making women-only spaces legally accessible only to those born female. This U.K. law includes a provision for funding al...
October 13, 2020

Responses to my blog post (1)

A frustrating aspect of my website is that when people write in, there's no trace of an email address so no way of getting back to people, and also no way of publishing their messages. However, I received such a nice response to my article just now that I'd like to include it here. It's from some who for the sake of confidentiality (in case it's ne...
October 11, 2020

On adopting a more gender-critical transgender activism

On adopting a more gender-critical transgender activism Note to the reader: This post is intended as a contribution to addressing the current tensions between transgender activism and gender-critical feminism. The way I see myself in relation to female i dentity, and the ideas I express here, are not a prescription for other trans women. The t...
May 11, 2020

The Book of Queer Prophets, curated by Ruth Hunt

in Books

  The Book of Queer Prophets: 24 Writers on Sexuality and Religion The historically fraught relationship between Abrahamic religions and LGBT+ identities provides the backdrop to The Book of Queer Prophets , a collection of twenty-four meditations by public figures who identify as both religious and LGBT+. The book's curator, the for...
May 09, 2020

Queer/Transgender short film: Mesmeralda

Joshua Matteo's short film, Mesmeralda , merging horror with esoterica, is now out on youtube . As with his previous work Metanoia , we see youthful trans actors racing through the empty streets of a moonlit New York, haunted by symbols and stalked by a masked figure of violent intentions. Mesmeralda , as described by Matteo, is the companion ...
March 08, 2020

Sterile like the moon: the joys of transgender healthcare

Sterile like the moon: the joys of transgender healthcare Summer, 2016: Gina's Big Bang, as transitioning begins A bureaucratic question in a sun-lit room. My medical practitioner asks me if I intend to have children. The question lingers, but the self-loathing is instant. No, I won't be having children. The practitioner nods. She moves on to the n...
November 10, 2019

General Election

General Election 12 December 2019 I spent the last election in an office, alone but for the company of a colleague. We watched the BBC's coverage while I drank wine, downbeat and expecting austerity and the absence of hope to triumph. Then we saw the exit poll and hung around, disbelieving at the sight of the kindled embers and lukewarm glow of a f...