Transgender Life

I don’t want this site to be solely about being transgender. From my experiences so far, it’s not even something I could write about every week – being in the closet is far more intense and frustrating and writeable. However, there are moments when things happen, unique to trans people. I’d like to share those moments with you, and let you into the mystery.

2019 I am ready for you

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2019 I am ready for you

After a Christmas of deadnaming, trans-shaming and get-in-the-car-quick confidence-maiming, I am back, like a fist through a million-dollar painting.

I am adult enough now to disregard what's not important, as I survey the field before me. I am unlikely to romance or murder anyone. I'm also not planning to die. I will work hard and complete my PhD, while taking tutorials effectively and preparing efficiently (remember, Gina, you're paid for only one hour of prep-time). I will ensure the conference Transgender: Intersectional / International will be a success come May.

By the next New Year's Eve, I will be the last figure standing in a sodden field, axe dripping with the pain of my enemies (self-hate; insecurity; procrastination – if you're asking). I will sling that axe against my shoulder and trudge off the field, knowing I gave everything – and kicked arse. But dear reader, don't be put off by such violent imagery: it's all about me and my own underworld. As Freud famously either said or didn't say: where the id was, the ego shall be. I shall tame the internal chaotic doubts that cripple and distract me. I have turned myself into Gina already, no small thing. This year sees me becoming Gina Plus. Uber Gina; a combination of Nietzsche and the Care Bears. Be kind to others. Be kind to yourself. Exist within rainbows.

My biggest disappointment this Christmas was watching the 10am Christmas morning service on TV. I'm not a Christian but it had started to become a Christmas morning ritual for me to watch the Archbishop of Canterbury (the quietly impressive Justin Welby) address everyone listening about reaching out, whatever your denomination. But this time, it was some other bloke, at a church in Oldham, talking narrowly about Jesus Christ and the miracle of his/His birth and Isn't Jesus Great. It felt like naval gazing, a missed opportunity. Most people are not Christians, but everyone needs to hear about compassion. I live in a country that's racist and treats rich people like idols. We don't talk about humanity or death; we don't even talk about climate change. We talk about property portfolios and immigration. We talk about austerity.

So 2019 is about me, but it's also about us. Austerity is a choice fuelled by greed, manipulation, and dehumanization. Compassion and solidarity are forever, while the amount of time each of us have on Earth is limited. This isn't what the priest talked about on Christmas morning and it's not what the politicians and the media are discussing but they are my final words as I enter the fray of utopian/dystopian 2019 as it lies glistening with early morning dew before me. Good luck, everyone.

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Thursday, 09 July 2020

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My Latest Posts

July 01, 2020

Silenced by The Scotsman

​ On 11 June, The Scotsman published a deeply hostile article against transgender rights and activism in an opinion piece about the JK Rowling furore by its deputy political editor Gina Davidson. After much distress, I wrote a counter article which The Scotsman quietly ignored, after they had offered to pass it on to their Comment Editor. I experie...
May 11, 2020

The Book of Queer Prophets, curated by Ruth Hunt

in Books

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May 09, 2020

Queer/Transgender short film: Mesmeralda

Joshua Matteo's short film, Mesmeralda , merging horror with esoterica, is now out on youtube . As with his previous work Metanoia , we see youthful trans actors racing through the empty streets of a moonlit New York, haunted by symbols and stalked by a masked figure of violent intentions. Mesmeralda , as described by Matteo, is the companion ...
March 08, 2020

Sterile like the moon: the joys of transgender healthcare

Sterile like the moon: the joys of transgender healthcare Summer, 2016: Gina's Big Bang, as transitioning begins A bureaucratic question in a sun-lit room. My medical practitioner asks me if I intend to have children. The question lingers, but the self-loathing is instant. No, I won't be having children. The practitioner nods. She moves on to the n...
November 10, 2019

General Election

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Joker
October 05, 2019

Joker

October 05, 2019

Joker

Joker The trailer did its work, flashing images of anomie and fury perfectly pitched for these unstable times of precarious working conditions, grievance and institutional indifference. For these same reasons, Joker , directed by Todd Phillips and starring Joaquin Phoenix as the protagonist, has attracted pre-release criticisms like few other recen...
September 29, 2019

Resisting Whiteness event 2019

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August 21, 2019

Hearty by Emma Frankland

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August 21, 2019

Pronoun, Pass, & Amnesty International

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