Transgender Life

I don’t want this site to be solely about being transgender. From my experiences so far, it’s not even something I could write about every week – being in the closet is far more intense and frustrating and writeable. However, there are moments when things happen, unique to trans people. I’d like to share those moments with you, and let you into the mystery.

Final Message of 2017

Christmas-tree-forest

Final Message of 2017 22.12.17

I wrote this post yesterday, but it had a strange effect on me afterwards: I wrote about my excitement buying things for my family, about spending money on stuff. Christmas can have a strange effect on people, on me at least. Briefly I got swept up in the glittering waves, imagining how it's going to be, that Christmas by the hearth. But it feels strange to sign off on 2017 in such a smiling, hand-waving way. It's nice to believe in happy endings, but to project false joy and tidings is not what these posts are about. I used to love Christmas but these days the build-up isn't that anymore. So I'm going to strip this post down to the bare essentials, a few highlights, and then move on, which is how I feel about 2017.

Highlights in my private life? I moved into a nice apartment at the end of September with my friend and colleague Niki (whom I still don't have a picture of, so this link will have to do). Some new friendships blossomed, especially with Valentina. My pub quiz team, featuring the brilliant Tess, Calder and Angela, sometimes win (and when we lose, it's usually to groups of eight or nine people, whom we suspect might be cheating with their smart phones so it isn't fair, but we're too cool to be bitter).

Most wonderful, resonating film: Neruda, for reminding me of the beauty of invention, and how it doesn't matter if I'm just a figment in a poet's mind; I live, I exist, as something that feels truthful to me.

Favourite music: I got into Marillion this year, and their song Neverland is as good as music gets. Having said that, and if we're talking guilty pleasures, I re-connected with the talent of former Ozzy Osbourne guitarist Jake E Lee; his guitar solo here is the closest thing to orgasm that I can recall from a past such a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Speaking of which, my favourite movie soundtrack: I bought the soundtrack today to Star Wars: The Last Jedi as it's wonderful, a dramatic upgrade of my childhood anthem. But the anthem to 2017 is the closing song by Sara Bareilles to the movie Battle of the Sexes, special in a tender way. About women's rights, and fighting back against the disrespect. The word that is most profound, meanwhile, is Charlottesville, and my person of the year is Heather Heyer .

Merry Christmas everyone, and a Happy New Year.

Love,

Gina
2018 All Shiny and New
Christmas Party
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Guest
Sunday, 20 January 2019

Captcha Image

What's On This Week

My Latest Posts

January 12, 2019

Transgender Venezuelan Poetry: Esdras Parra

in Books

Transgender Venezuelan Poetry: the Collected Poems of Esdras Parra (2018) I've seen your dreams In the foliage of your eyes Opening in a horizon of ash Ready for death And the innocent flame That leaps from branch to branch Brings you the color of earth Which you should get used to Before the fog Grows within you (taken from the collection Este Sue...
January 06, 2019

2019 I am ready for you

2019 I am ready for you After a Christmas of deadnaming, trans-shaming and get-in-the-car-quick confidence-maiming, I am back, like a fist through a million-dollar painting. I am adult enough now to disregard what's not important, as I survey the field before me. I am unlikely to romance or murder anyone. I'm also not planning to die. I will work h...
January 06, 2019

The Favourite

If playwright Harold Pinter does brilliant depictions of the menace and impotence of male experience within patriarchy, then this film, Yorgos Lanthimos's The Favourite , produces a stunning equivalent of female power games in a dog-eat-dog world. This felt like a 'woman' film, where boy-meets-girl romance is simply – and peripherally – a means to ...
December 09, 2018

Mortal Engines

Mortal Engines If the anime films of Studio Ghibli and writer/artist Hayao Miyazaki were to be turned into live action movies, they would look like this. Steam punk machines, whirring aircraft and zeppelins, with utopian valleys and dystopian wastelands sharing screen time, reminding us of how one can turn into the other through the rapacious consu...
Creed 2
December 08, 2018

Creed 2

December 08, 2018

Creed 2

Creed 2 I remember Rocky IV in the mid-1980s, at the peak of Reagan's (and Donald Trump's) America. It's a film so mesmerizingly patriotic to American exceptionalism, the boxer 'Italian Stallion' Rocky Balboa as the plucky underdog, avenging the brutal death of his friend Apollo Creed by taking on the steroid-abusing giant who killed said friend in...
December 04, 2018

Transgender milestone (#5): visiting a foreign country

It means nothing to me This means nothing to me Oh, Vienna (' Vienna ' by Ultravox) It's up there with your first full day as an out trans female, with the admin changes, your first job and that conversation with your family. I went to Vienna this weekend to a conference, my first time out of the country with my passport grasped at my tender bosom,...
Widows
November 25, 2018

Widows

November 25, 2018

Widows

Widows A taut, stylish heist movie spotlighting destinies of gender and race in the U.S., Widows is the kind of movie I'd forgotten they still make for adults. Contrasted with multiverse fantasies like Crimes of Grindelwald , Widows is proof you can have several characters as vivid, substantial, and delicately drawn, while the action and the tensio...
November 18, 2018

The Crimes of Grindelwald

The Crimes of Grindelwald A curious film, one to categorize under 'part of a series' than self-contained. But you sit down to these 'multiverse' sagas from Marvel and Warner Bros. (et al) expecting the cliff-hanger concept that really belongs to TV shows. With this expectation, I entered the dark cinema an intrepid explorer like Eddie Redmayne's Ne...
November 09, 2018

Gifted Transgender Writers: Jamie Berrout

in Books

Portland Diary by Jamie Berrout I never use to read short stories, but I'm glad I found Portland Diary: Short Stories 2016 / 2017 by Jamie Berrout. As a transgender woman of colour, Berrout is able to go beyond the clichés of isolation and domesticity of cisgender appropriations (David Ebershoff's nauseating The Danish Girl , for example), but also...